What's that smell? YUCK

I consider myself to have somewhat of a stomach of steel but there are just some things that I can smell and it automatically sets off my gag reflex. I don't know if it’s something that is in my head or if it’s just the smell consuming my insides and saying YUCK! I know that there are some of you out there that know just what I am speaking about.

I have smelled things that were absolutely horrible in my day but there is something about stinky food that makes me want to toss my cookies on site. My ex came over the other day and heated up some food. I immediately got an attitude and asked him to leave. That food smelled like old rotting corpses mixed with mystery meat. It was just plain old rancid. We had to spray some smell goods and open windows to get rid of the funk.

Today my sons insisted on eating Vienna sausages. Not only were they eating them but they heated them up in the microwave. My son had the audacity to come in the living room with them. I began to gag and almost lost my dinner. I had to spray perfume not to smell the stench of these wretched little sausages. My boys were almost evicted from my house this evening. I really felt bad that I exhaled them to the kitchen but I could not take the smell.

The other thing that makes my stomach turn is the smell of bologna. I actually ate bologna once in basic training. I immediately got sick. Since that day I gag upon the smell reaching my nose. I don't know why. It is just something that happens. Bad smelling food is almost as bad as someone smelling like old rotting hot dog water.

What are some of the foods that make your body go YUCK?!?!?

Stinking in the club

This past weekend I decided to journey down to venture down to Washington DC to party for my 30th birthday. I didn’t want to party in the local tri-state area because I hadn’t been down to the DC area in a while. I met up with two of my old friends and began partying in the club. It was an epic experience as always.... UNTIL..

The fat girl in the sparkly dress appeared. Not only did she appear but she made a presence. Her odor hit me first and I thought to myself. Lawd it’s too early for me to be funky. So I did the smell check under my arms. I even asked my friend if I smelled bad. He laughed and said no. He had no idea what was coming for him UNTIL.....

She recognized him. She went next to him and began talking. I kindly danced in another direction not trying to make it obvious that she smelled like she had 8 gypsy cab drivers smuggled under her dress. When she walked away I laughed at my friend who now knew why i asked if I smelled bad. He made a joke about having to wash his hands because he touched her.

As the evening progressed her smell got worst and she cleared out the VIP stage area. I had found my way down to the regular dance floor until I saw she had left. I told my other friend I had to go dance with the masses with sparkly dress chick. He said man she was FUNKY. It was so bad he had to comment to me about it again later in the evening.

My question to my readers is why would you go to the club without smell checking yourself? And it’s not like this bitch didn’t have people with her. This is how you know you DONT have real friends. Those trifling bitches let her run around smelling like fromunda funk. (fromunda that rank smell from under). The bad thing is that 7-eleven was right down the street. They could have bought her some deodorant. I guess it’s safe to safe no matter where you go, no matter what city or state there will always be that stink ass person in the club.

You got any stinky people in the club stories?