This is why masturbating is good

The other day on the Radio I heard about some kid who died from masturbating 42 times. What I wanted to blog about yesterday was "Maybe mom was right, I can die from touching myself." Since I couldn't find a reliable source to back this information up I decided not to blog about it. With that being said I figured I would share the good in masturbation.

I ran a search online for reasons why masturbating is good. I got this link http://besthealthmag.ca/embrace-life/wellness/6-healthy-reasons-to-masturbate. All of these are really good reasons but I figured I could write some so that my readers could relate to them more.

So...

Reason number 1: It will prevent you from knocking out random strangers who perform daily acts of stupidity. Think about it people tend to get easily upset when they are backed up. If you masturbate often you have enough endorphins running through your body to make you feel happy more so than not.

Reason number 2(for men): If you get the pre nut out (pre nut: the first ejaculation after not having sex in a while. What usually catches you off guard making you look like a minute man when you are really a 3 minute man) then when it’s time for the vagina you will be ready to give it your all.

Reason number 3(ladies): He might know your vagina from your anus so why would you expect him to know how to get you off? Next time he gets off and goes to sleep, get to rubbing. No use in being frustrated because he is insufficient.

Reason number 4: If you know what you like you can show your partner. Guys ever have a girl rubbing on your penis like it’s a lamp and they are expecting a genie to pop out and you wonder: “What the heck is she doing?” Well if you don’t tell her how you like your snake pulled she won’t know. That goes for women too. Ever have a guy call himself touching you during foreplay and you are thinking what is that? He is looking at you like does that feel good and you reply "I don’t know I guess" Honey that is no help to him. Tell him. Rub it like this. But you will only know if you find out for yourself.

Reason number 5: Make sure your plumbing works. You don’t want to be cumming dust bunnies. Be all dried up like a raisin in the sun and don’t even know it. The article says use it or lose it. It’s in regards to sex drive but I’m talking in regards to your fluids. No one wants to be navigating through cob webs and the dry abyss. Keep it functional.

And finally (cause I’m not typing all night)

Reason number 6: It helps you get that GOOD sleep. Ladies ever look over after sex and your partner is snoring away? Well that’s because he ejaculated. If you achieve a good orgasm you might be able to sleep too. There are a lot of people I know who say they have trouble sleeping. I recommend masturbating to them. Some people act like they don’t do it but they are the ones that really need to.

OK ONE MORE.... I promise

Reason number 7: If you pleasure yourself you don’t run the risk of getting STD's from having sex with other people!!!! BOOM

So in conclusion..... Masturbating can be healthy for you sexually, physically and mentally so.....

Get to work!!!

touch it or torment it

Masturbation is something that is considered a normal part of life. Well to me  it is anyway. I have met some people who claim to have never fiddled the kitty or stroked the pole. It just makes me wonder, can people  get by without doing it?

A few years back I decided to take a sabbatical from sex. I became celibate. I went for about 2 weeks without masturbating before I realized that if I didn't have an orgasm stat I was more than likely going to hurt someone.

So remained celibate but continued to get my rocks off myself. In a lot of religions this is definitely a faux pas but I figured if Jesus forgave Judas and his persecutors for crucifying him I might be forgiven for kneading my dough. Anyway I broke my celibacy after a few months and got knocked up. Go team condoms! They only work if you use them all the time.

I don't know how people can go around not doing it. In my eyes masturbation is right up there with peanut butter and jelly on wheat bread; Simple but  amazing! Maybe those folks don't know what its like to truly climax don't know. Or maybe just maybe I'm an addict. It can go either way but I will plead the fifth if ever asked about it.


Are you a person who masturbates or are you grossed about by the very thought?