The incredible exploding breasts

I want to take a few minutes to talk about women with breast implants. I have nothing against them especially if they look natural but I do have something against exploding titties. I found out today that a woman in London had a breast explode while playing paint ball. This occurrence is concerning and alarming. What else can cause breast implants to explode? Aside from the regular warnings here are some things that I came up with:

Just like an aerosol can has a warning contents under pressure do not store in extreme heat. I started thinking that well what about implants? Are they made to with stand extreme heat all the time? I mean would a person with implants suffer from an explosion if they stay out in the sun for long periods of time? Could this be why people choose tanning beds instead?

Would a breast implant burst while the person is jumping rope? Let's think about this. The person is jumping up and down thus shaking the implant vigorously. Can you imagine an implant bursting like a water balloon? Splash.

Do you think a breast implant can with stand the force from a rollercoaster? All of that pressure from the G force pressing against the chest of a person with implants. Not only do I think it would burst the implant but it might just blow the whole titty up. This would be a tragic event. Man what about sky diving? Oh man...

So ladies and Gents I know people get implants for different reasons. Just hear me out. If you want to lead a full life of adventure and excitement please rethink this surgery. You might end up having to get reconstructive titty surgery. Imagine having to get skin graphed off your thigh to make your titty look normal because it exploded while you were living your life. Doesn't seem like a good look.

Thoughts of getting pierced

Getting piercings’ can be so damn addictive. It’s right up there with getting tattoos. I know why people end up looking like the inside of a meat locker with metal hooks everywhere. Something about that initial pain makes it become so erotic. That Pinch right as you are slobbing all over the floor while your tongue is getting pierced. The flash of pain as your tongue swells in your mouth and it feels like it’s going to fall out. Aw the Romance of a piecing.

In my previous entry I talked about the nipple piercing. As I hit send I started to wonder. Am I took chicken shit to get it done? I mean I know I have other things to spend my money on but if the money magically showed up in my paypal account I just might have to consider getting it done. Just to prove to myself that I am no punk.

Who am I kidding I am the same person who says my breasts are not stress balls so don’t squeeze them. I think I might pass out if I tried to get a nipple pierced. What do you folks think? Do I have the balls to get a titty pierced? Or do you think I would ball up into a ball and cry after giving the piercing specialist a black eye?

How many of my readers have piercings? Where are they? Did it hurt?

The incredible nip slip

So if you forgot that I heart Boobies, let me remind you. I love Boobies. Remember when I said I like to imagine the nipples? Well, nothing says "Hello Lady" like a nip slip. Nicki Minaj had a nip slip while performing on stage the other day. While yes most of her is plastic, hence why i am guessing she calls herself a Barbie, it was still nice to see her chocolate chip nips.  Like I have said in the past you can gag her and send her my way.

While we are taking the time to talk about nip slips let’s talk about the great sets we have seen in the past. Rosario Dawson, while it wasn’t a nip slip, her pretty bitties did grace us on the silver screens. I forget what movie it was but trust me it was nice. I honestly don’t think the movie was even all that good other than her titties. I'm just being honest.

I mean we can't talk nip slip without talking about Janet's wardrobe malfunction during that one Super Bowl. She really makes me want to get my nipples pierced. Good thing I know how much that really hurts. For those reader’s wondering, it isn't going to happen. I'd be like that one stripper you see at every Strip club in America with the one nipple pierced. Everyone asks her the same dumb question too. "Flashy tittybox, why do you only have one nipple pierced?" but I digress.

If anyone ever wants to see Angelina Jolie naked and getting her lesbian on you have to watch Gia. Her breasts are perky and pleasant in this movie. This was before she had 80 kids of course. The only thing I have to warn about this movie is that she plays a heroin addict. I couldn’t watch the drug scenes. They made me cringe.

Even though I cheated and used examples from movies I know that you guys know of plenty of nip slips out there.


What are some of your Favorite Nip slips of all time?

The Infamous Boob shelf

Many women across the world know exactly what the boob shelf is, but do the guys know? I broke down the boob shelf to my little cousin today and had my aunt cosign on exactly what it was. The boob shelf: A storage area for fallen objects in or around the breast area.

Now there are two types of boob shelves, it will always depend on the shirt that the woman is wearing. If  a woman has fairly big breasts and she is wearing a shirt that shows no cleavage, the boob shelf will catch everything on top of the shirt. It sucks when sauce falls on the shelf cause it makes your breasts look like you were feeding them. Now dropping crumbs on the boob shelf can really serve for comic relief. Here's an example, one day I had eaten chips or something at my desk at work. I had gotten up and proceeded on my way to the bathroom. I briefly looked down and had found that my boob shelf was full of crumbs. So I began to wipe it off. As I looked up there were about 6 engineers looking up at me. All their mouths were wide open and then they began to laugh. I mean it was equally embarrassing for me as it was for them. Now I am mindful of when I wipe my boobs.


The second kind of boob shelf is the hidden one. This occurs when you are wearing a shirt with little or a lot of cleavage. Basically what happens is, things fall down your shirt without your knowledge. Leaving it possible for a later snack(gross) or a mortifying surprise. There is nothing funnier than taking your bra off after you have gotten home from a long day and having food and/or objects fall out. I've had all kinds of things fall out of my bra. From food to change. Ladies, ever find a small fortune in your bra? How about a quarter stuck to your bossom? Guys may not understand this one and might even think it weird but it is what ladies go through sometimes.


Well after explaining the boob shelf to my cousin, she looked at me like i was crazy of course. One day she will learn what I meant and she might find it amusing. Which brings me to this, why did I find a sesame seed on my damn boob when i got home? I laughed so hard then, I thought about this; What if I was having an intimate experience and the guy found a sesame seed suck to my boob? Would he eat it? Would he think I was nasty? Would he laugh as my face turned beet red? I really don't know the answer to these but I do know that from now on I will be extra visual as to what falls down on to and into my boob shelf.

Has anyone ever found anything crazy in their or someone else's boob shelf?

Inquiring minds want to know....

Do you boob or not?

Yes, this piece is on you guessed it... BOOBIES!
I know many people who are ass people while asses are great and I find myself being more of a boob person. Yes, I said I’m a boob person. While you are trying to close your mouth at the shocking news that I love boobs. I want you to take a second to think about this: Do you boob or not?

I like boobs in all shapes and sizes. You can say I’m a bit of a perv but if we really think about it the breast should be worshipped. I mean they are nourishing and really nice to look at. I find myself staring at women’s breast sometimes. I know it’s rude to stare, but I guess I’m always fascinated and intrigued to know what the nipple looks like. Lol I mean is it big, small, brown or pink? I feel like the Bubba Gump of breasts. LOL. I like big boobies, small boobies, medium boobies, big nipple boobies, little nipple boobies.

The kinds of boobies I don’t like are empty boobies. You know the kind, fried egg on a nail. Ever seen a woman sit down and her boobs meet the chair before she does? What a total turn off. Or a woman trying to be sexy wearing a dress or something without a bra and her boobs are so empty the nipple looks like an afterthought? I have seen this many times and let me tell you DISAPPOINTMENT.

I am going to let a few of you down by saying I am not posting my breasts. You already know who you are so please don’t text me telling me I suck for this. Lol.


Ok time to go, all this boob talk has made me hungry.

So do you boob or not?