Peddler of the plastic penis

In one of my previous posts I blogged that I am now a passion party consultant. What a passion party consultant does is they go and present "passion products"  also known as dildos, vibrators, lubricants, lotions, games, etc. So far I have really been enjoying myself. There are some ups and some downs to this profession. Of course the up is that I make extra money as I talk about sex. I think that men are the most closed minded when it comes to introducing things into the bedroom.

One of the down falls of being a consultant is that men do not take what you do seriously. I have had some requests where I thought this might not be worth it. Sometimes you have to learn to ignore these request. I have the uber perverts that say, oh can i get a demonstration. I reply: "Sure, when you buy one for your wife you can watch her use it all the time."

There are the guys that think that they do not need anything to assist them in the bed room. While this may or may not be true. What these men don't know is that they can avoid going out looking for new vagina if they keep things new and exciting in the bedroom. Passion parties is not only about dildos and vibrators. There are things for the guys like stay hard cream to keep their penis a little harder a little longer without ingesting Viagra or other pills for erectile dysfunction. Might keep your lady happy. Did you know that a woman is happier when she achieves orgasm? and that more than 30% of women never have an orgasm? yea. them bitches be faking it. Get her something to play with in the bedroom while you play with her. If it outlasts you well that's a good thing.

My favorite type of close minded guy is the one that thinks they are funny. The one's that say: "why do I need lubricant when I have spit?" um, let's see because its SPIT!! Besides being nasty, spit dries up a lot faster than lubricant. I guess some men have it all figured out. Meanwhile, more women are turning to other women for pleasure and love than ever before.

Today I had the most embarrassing thing happen to me at my main job. I don't go around telling everyone what I do on the side because I work in a corporate environment and I don't want to get fired for having inappropriate conversations in the work place. Well, I was talking to someone  about the products. The office male slut. I mean he has a woman for every pair of socks. He is also a somewhat nice guy. Who would have thought that would go hand in hand? So he is kind of like that annoying little brother to me. So I was telling him that he should check out my website and support my business. I didn't get into details. He blurts out: "what am i going to do with a room full of dildos?" All of sudden you heard like 8 "Whats!?!" I moved away from him sooooo face with my face beat red and hid in my cubicle for the rest of the afternoon. I wanted to cut him but it was really funny. Good thing none of us got in trouble. I would have gone to jail if i lost my job.

 So my lady readers, do you think men need to be more open in the bedroom?

Male readers, if you are not open to new things, why not?

its a Ho-tastraphe

This post is dedicated to the heaux of the world who are in total denial of their heuax status. I feel like if you are loose then you should embrace who you are. Be honest with yourself and those around you.

There is nothing more tragic than a hoe in denial. If you cannot remember 90 percent of your partners than you are a heaux! If you had more dick and pussy in your mouth than Trojan condoms then you are a heaux. If you have your own personal porn collection staring you with a different co-star every time then you are a heaux.

 Don't fret my friends. Being a heaux can't be all that bad. Let’s examine this. With being a heaux comes experience. One would hope so anyway. There is nothing worse than being a heaux who can't fuck, suck or lick. Shout out to Kim k. An experienced heaux makes people happy sexually. That's if their genitalia haven’t rotted off yet.
 

Smart hoes always carry their own protection. For those cheap bastards who want sex but don't want to spend the cash on the rubbers maybe a heaux is what you need. Hopefully a heaux gets coupons on prophylactics, kind of like a frequent fucker program. Can you imagine walking into CVS and the cashier saying hello Mr/Ms. (insert name here).. I have that new brand of condoms I was telling you about. These are on the house. I mean you don't have to be a heaux to appreciate free protection.

So in conclusion my message to the Heaux of the world is "embrace who you are." I mean without Heaux we wouldn’t have great porn. Just stop being in denial. Just some food for thought....