Peddler of the plastic penis

In one of my previous posts I blogged that I am now a passion party consultant. What a passion party consultant does is they go and present "passion products"  also known as dildos, vibrators, lubricants, lotions, games, etc. So far I have really been enjoying myself. There are some ups and some downs to this profession. Of course the up is that I make extra money as I talk about sex. I think that men are the most closed minded when it comes to introducing things into the bedroom.

One of the down falls of being a consultant is that men do not take what you do seriously. I have had some requests where I thought this might not be worth it. Sometimes you have to learn to ignore these request. I have the uber perverts that say, oh can i get a demonstration. I reply: "Sure, when you buy one for your wife you can watch her use it all the time."

There are the guys that think that they do not need anything to assist them in the bed room. While this may or may not be true. What these men don't know is that they can avoid going out looking for new vagina if they keep things new and exciting in the bedroom. Passion parties is not only about dildos and vibrators. There are things for the guys like stay hard cream to keep their penis a little harder a little longer without ingesting Viagra or other pills for erectile dysfunction. Might keep your lady happy. Did you know that a woman is happier when she achieves orgasm? and that more than 30% of women never have an orgasm? yea. them bitches be faking it. Get her something to play with in the bedroom while you play with her. If it outlasts you well that's a good thing.

My favorite type of close minded guy is the one that thinks they are funny. The one's that say: "why do I need lubricant when I have spit?" um, let's see because its SPIT!! Besides being nasty, spit dries up a lot faster than lubricant. I guess some men have it all figured out. Meanwhile, more women are turning to other women for pleasure and love than ever before.

Today I had the most embarrassing thing happen to me at my main job. I don't go around telling everyone what I do on the side because I work in a corporate environment and I don't want to get fired for having inappropriate conversations in the work place. Well, I was talking to someone  about the products. The office male slut. I mean he has a woman for every pair of socks. He is also a somewhat nice guy. Who would have thought that would go hand in hand? So he is kind of like that annoying little brother to me. So I was telling him that he should check out my website and support my business. I didn't get into details. He blurts out: "what am i going to do with a room full of dildos?" All of sudden you heard like 8 "Whats!?!" I moved away from him sooooo face with my face beat red and hid in my cubicle for the rest of the afternoon. I wanted to cut him but it was really funny. Good thing none of us got in trouble. I would have gone to jail if i lost my job.

 So my lady readers, do you think men need to be more open in the bedroom?

Male readers, if you are not open to new things, why not?

Pillow Passions

So My Poppees, the popcorn popper has been extremely busy lately. I decided to join the realm of Passions Parties. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I love all things sex. That's why one day I will be a sex therapist. I felt that I wanted to spread awareness about sexuality and sexual well being all while having a good time and making some money. Anyway....

I am a passion Parties consultant. I present passion products at parties and I allow the women to have fun and talk about things that would be faux pas in any other setting. I love doing this because it allows women to feel sexually liberated about things that they would like to experience. I also provide them with some ideas of things they can try with their spouse or significant others.

Some people think that adult toys are only for solo play and this is why so many people are against them. From what I have seen a lot of men forbid their wives to get an artificial penis because OMG god forbid something comes along that gives her a better orgasm than ME. I love to educate my clients on how the toys can be incorporated into the bedroom with their honey.

If a man learns that these toys are his friends rather than his enemies he will have a happier wife. I love when people say "oh my sex life is great no complaints there". Yet you find out that their spouse has been sneaking and creeping with this one that one and the next one. Fun fact. 35% of men in the USA suffer from premature ejaculation. That means he cums too quick. So if you are part of this 35 percentile, why not get something that will assist until you can get back on track to finish the job?
Also I heard that the average man ejaculates in 6 minutes and it takes the average woman 19 minutes to climax. I am pretty sure you guys can do simple math to figure out that that the men are coming up short!

This is not a men verses women. Nope. This is an eye opener as to why it is important to engage in foreplay and that maybe a vibrator or two can boost your sex life and really make a difference in your life. The better the sex the more you will want to engage in it. The more sex you have the happier you will be. Orgasms release endorphins. These are natural chemical simulators released from the brain that make you feel happy. More sex also improves your health. I do still recommend safe sex to those who are not married or that do not want to have children. So don't blame me if you get herpes from not being protected. There are responsibilities in having sex that should not be ignored.

Anyway I might be rambling. But please feel free to check out my website and make a purchase if you like. www.pillowpassions.com.

Please note next blog will be for the women. It will be about some reasons why male ejaculation is good for you.

Did his titties just jiggle? Moobs not a good look.

Well ladies and Gentlemen, I am back at it by popular demand. Today I am going to talk to you about moobs and the reason why fat dudes need to keep their shirts on during sex. For those of you that don't know what a Moob is, a moob is a man boob. Yes, men can have boobs. If you look down and your "chest" hangs, jiggles or wiggles then you have a moob. Moobs are in no way sexy. Nicely shaped pec muscles are sexy. Not hangy, wiggly, floppy tits. I just want men to understand it is not cute.

So once upon a time I dated a Fat guy. I have nothing against bigger guys or overweight people. Shit happens in life and I understand that some people are big boned and like to eat food. Anyway.. He was really cool and his smile was everything. We kicked it a few times and he told me how he was much bigger and he was losing weight to get healthier. I saw pictures of when he was bigger. He wasn't bad looking as a bigger guy so I knew once he lost the weight he would be arrogant city.

So the first few times we had sex it was cool. No details because a girl never fucks and tells. But there was this one time that the sex was instantly over for the both of us. He took his shirt off and I got on top and out titties rubbed. He looked down, I looked down, we looked at each other and BAM session was over. There is nothing SEXY about a mans flappy titties rubbing up against your titties. Later that night when we spoke he said something about our titties rubbing and how naty he felt. I felt bad for him. That's when I realized he had low self esteem. I still liked him and we still had fun times. When he lost all the weight he became an asshole so I had to walk.

Moral of the story is.... Women don't like moobs. Just like men don't like cankles.

Shit do some push ups or something. I guarantee if you take your shirt off around me with moobs flopping around you are guaranteed to get this look O_o. So wear a T-shirt, wife beater, or sports bra. You are guaranteed to get more pussy with you floppy titties tucked away.

Anyone have any funny moob stories?

Get your winter Bun!!!

Well winter is quickly approaching so you know what that means if you don’t have a winter bun in line by now you may not have one come the winter time. For those who don't know what a winter bun is, a winter bun is a cuff buddy (a warm body) someone to keep you company while it’s cold.

The time to start looking for that winter bun is the end of August. It’s usually someone who you wouldn’t be seen in public with under different circumstances. Someone who you know you can deal with for a few months but nothing longer. Someone who will actually help keep you warm or who can cook, you know for those days you are snowed in.

Another thing you should look for when looking for the winter Bun is someone who at least likes the same kind of movies. Who the hell wants to lay on the couch and cuddle to some bullshit ass movies? Another thing in the bag they are to have a tooth brush, washcloth, fresh underwear and enough prophylactics. Anything more is grounds for dismissal.

The Last thing you need to remember when choosing your winter bun is that they are not supposed to last forever. As soon as there is a 70 degree day, it’s time for them to pack up their toothbrush, wash cloth and underwear and go. You have to make it look like things aren’t working because they are not happy. You need to start acting up so they break it off then once august comes back along again you can act like you’re sorry if they were a good bun.

Until next time folks... Stay warm, stay safe and get Bunned!!

When da henny's in da system....

When the Henny's in the system ain’t no telling if I fuck or if I diss them.. This is semi quotable. A line from Jay-z's I'm a Hustler change slightly to depict my favorite drink. Tonight I want to talk to you about drunken sex. No I didn’t stutter or stammer. I said drunken sex. Drunken sex while in some cases can be great it can go terrible bad. I just want to examine the possible situations that can occur when drunken sex goes bad.

I heard one of the best antidotes ever while serving in one of the most elite fighting forces in the US. One of the guys that I served with told us a story about drunken sex gone terribly wrong. He had been dating a girl for quite a while and sex was no mystery to them. One night they were engaging in drunken sex in the shower and she hit her head against the tile. He said she passed out and was bleeding a little but due to his inebriation her left her there. In the morning she woke up with a bad headache, a gash and in the shower.

The next best antidote I heard was told to me by another colleague in a different line of work. The story was of when he was in college. He had bought a girl home during a wild party night and had awesome sex. The only problem was when he woke up in the A.M. There was blood all over the bathroom and there was a hole in the wall. He had no idea what had happened. His roommate had reminded him of the event. He had wild sex with the girl in the bathroom and somehow her foot went through the bathroom wall. They were so drunk they didn’t realize what happened but it made for an awesome story. The girl didn’t die or anything she is alive and well somewhere.

The whole conclusion while drunken sex can last all night, get nice and rough, it can get dangerous. So not only should you wrap up but, you should have sex in a padded room.

Do you have any stories of drunken sex gone badly? Well you know we want to hear them!!!!

Ride or die

Earlier today I made a comment about riding penis, I said "Riding penis is like riding a bike; after not riding for a long time the first time you are a little shaky but before long you get that rhythm back. Someone told me that this subject better make it to my blog. So here is it. Ride or die. Fellas, how many girls during your courting process say "I can ride a mean penis." Then you figure out she is as stiff as a board and as exciting as watching a sponge.

                    

Here is where the Popcorn Popper comes in. Ladies, it’s time to ride or die. Some women are afraid of being on top. Why? Is it because he is looking up at you? Or because you are lazy and don’t want to have to do all the work? Fear no more. There are different ways to ride where you can be comfy and find the right groove. Just like giving head, you have to gauge what your guy likes by how hard and excited he is. Imagine that, being receptive to what your partner likes. If it was only about you this would be called B.O.B or die but it’s not.

There are different methods that one can try and don't think I’m giving away my personal secrets. No sire Bob. Riding is all in the hips, waist and thighs. You need to have motion. I think some of you ladies need a trip to the gentlemen's club. Not all women agree with this but dancers do work hard. Being sexy is not always easy. Well most of you Suzy's know because you are reading this. There are certain moves that exotics dancers do on the stage that can help you with your technique.

Another tool that women can use is porn. Pick up your jaws. Yes, I said ladies you need to watch porn. There are a lot of women out there that claim not to watch it but I’m here to tell you that you need to. Just to let you know not all women in the adult industry can ride a penis but you will know who got those oohhhh weee skills.

If you don't want him looking up at you lean into him, brush your lips up against his neck while you are finding your rhythm. If you are doing this don’t forget to be all the way down around the base and grind. Make sure it’s as good to him as it is to you. Once again I am not giving away my secrets but if any of you ladies need some pointers feel free to ask.

Ladies, remember what you won’t do another woman will. Gents, if your lady is lacking in this area find a nice way to tell her. You have to show her what feel goods to you. Sex without communication is just like doing it to yourself on a bad day. You know when you try 8 different things and none of them get your off so you just fall asleep instead.

Ladies, are you a ride or die chick?

Gents, is your woman a ride or die?

The not so sex drive....

In my previous entry I spoke about masturbation and people claiming not to do it. Well one of my reader’s made a comment and it made me think about sex drive. So I began to wonder, what can kill a person’s sex drive? So I ventured off to Web MD to find some reasons a person can have a low sex drive. I am fortunate not to have issues with my sex drive being too low. We can talk about MY sex drive another day.

Here is the list of things I found on web MD: Stress, unresolved relationship issues, alcohol, not enough sleep, parenting, medication, poor body image, obesity, erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, depression, menopause, and not enough intimacy. These are all factors they listed in a slide show. Like I said I don’t have this problem but I figured I could make my own list of why people have a low sex drive.

My list and explanations:

1.       Your partner who claims to be straight is really in the closet. I mean how often would your husband or wife really want to touch you if they don’t crave your parts? While some DL people do come out, others are afraid of their own shadow because of whatever personal reasons they have. So that closet person will never come out and tell their husband/wife “Honey, I know I have a penis but I want to get pounded in my anal canal.” Or “Honey, while you have a nice little pecker I’d rather emerge my face in vaginal fluids than to have to jerk your penis again. “

2.       Your partner has bad hygiene. This is self explanatory isn’t it? No one wants to have sex with someone who smells like the inside of a gypsy cab when the underwear comes off or even worse. I don’t know about you guys but if my partner has stink ass breath I will not be kissing them. So tell them rinse, gargle, floss and brush and take an enema while you’re at it. Your insides might be rotting from the inside out.

3.       Your partner is ugly. While people usually go for looks first. Some people go for personality which is always a good thing but what happens when your little soldier cannot rise because your girlfriend suffers from trolliosis? You know, when your partner looks like they are supposed to be collecting tolls at the footbridge in a children’s book.

4.       Another reason is genital size. Now before you go jumping to conclusions guys this is for both men and women. Men can either be too big or too small for a woman. Yes I said too big. Its possible women. Stop acting like you like 12 inch penis, your vagina is probably the size of the Grand Canyon due to those monster schlongs. Which leads me to women, a woman can be too big or too small as well. While men do claim to like tight spaces for a vagina there is such thing as too tight. That’s the point when a guy thinks he penis might snap off because it barely went in and it got even tighter. Also we all know about the endless vagina. The one that the guys who are large can slide in without a problem, well think about the average guy trying to go in there. His penis would be in there echoing. “Hellooo, Hellooo.”

Well I said I was only giving a few examples. So what are some of your thoughts on lack of sex drive? Did I hit the nail on the head? What did I miss? What are your personal reasons for being turned off and not wanting to have sex? We all want to know…

Gili's Passion Secretz

Ok so many who know me know that I always like to promote my friends and support their success. Today I am promoting a friend of mine from high school named Gili. Yes it was a long time ago, so what? Well she is what they call a passion consultant. Ever wonder where I get my BOB's from? For those who dont know what BOB stands for or who he is, BOB is my Battery Operated Boyfriend aka vibrators. Well I get them from her.

While an occasional trip to adult store can be fun. It can feel kind of dirty especially when the dirty clerk behind the counter looks at what you are buying and gives you the pervy look. Once I discovered I could purchase my products in confidence well it changed my life.

Ok so here is how it works. You can go to her website which the link will be provided later or She can be contacted via telephone. You can order direct or you can set up what is called a passion party. A passion party is not an ORGY or a SEX party. She brings various products, lubes, games etc. You invite your friends over and she gives a presentation. While no one likes sitting through an hour of someone talking to them about stuff, this is actually fun.

You have some drinks on hand, listen and watch. I had the pleasure of sitting through one of her parties and she is one of the best consultants I have seen in action. Yes I AM A PERVERT. We have established that. So I have been to a few different parties before. Gili is extremely informative about all of the products her company provides and she is really fun. She really knows how to get the crowd to participate. ONCE AGAIN it is not an ORGY OR SEX PARTY.


Anyway, if you ever buy anything from her all her packages come in plain box and her address is the return address. So it is very discrete. When my packages come I can bring them in the house without my children knowing what's in the box, which of course is great for me. Those that know me know about the incident with my son finding my BOB. UGH!!! But I digress.


For more information about her products you can visit her website at
Her contact information is on there as well.

If you tell her popcorn popper referred you I get a discount on my next purchase. I’m just saying a new BOB would be nice. :)

What makes for great sex?

Sex can be the best as long as you keep it safe, you are clean, and your partner is clean. Let's face it no one wants to have sex with someone who has Herpachlyminosis. (Don't worry that is something I made up so please hit stop on your Google browsers.)  I want to know, what sex makes great sex?

Is it going at it for hours upon hours without end only stopping for an occasional bathroom break or a drink of water? Is it getting pounded or pounding out your partner in rapid manor? Is it about the size? I’m not just talking penis size. Let's talk honest, no one likes a flabby vagina. You know the kind I'm referring to, the ones that swallow the 10 inch round penis' and still have room for more.

For me great sex consists of many things. I need great sexual chemistry with a person. I am not saying the person needs to be good looking. You can have great sexual chemistry with someone that looks like the ass end of an elephant. There's this feeling of attraction that you feel when you are around the person. Your loins begin throbbing and you don't know why.

Another aspect of great sex for me is the person needs to be close to my level. I don't want to have sex with someone who decides that missionary is the best thing since slice bread and will not try anything else. Guys, it’s like those women that just lay there still and say nothing. What a waste of a vagina! I need variety. I need adventure. When I say adventure I do not mean that I want to be strapped to the hood of a moving vehicle while you attempt to put it in. I do like living.

While a quickie is always good when you have guests and have snuck into the bathroom with your significant other. A quickie cannot be the standard of every day sex. Give me at least 20-30 minutes with 10 minute breaks in between sessions. I don’t want to go for 5 hours at a time. Eventually I will get bored and will start thinking about my errands.

There are so many other things I can talk about that makes sex the best thing ever but i want to hear from my readers. What makes for great sex in your opinion?

Beating in the heat!!!!

Yes, you read the title right. This one is called beating in the heat. I don't know what it is about the summer time but it turns me on. Maybe its the temperature rising, maybe its the beach bodies, maybe its the smell of sun tan lotion or the hot glistening bodies moist from the heat. Whatever it is well it makes me hot down under. What makes it different from any other time you ask? Man, I don't know.

This heat wave that has hit the NYC tri-state area is enough to make me want to moan. As hot as it is, i still crave the hibbity dibbity. There are places and ways to beat in the heat and keep it cool. No air conditioning you say? well, try doing it in a cold shower. Fun, wet, and cool. Speaking of cool, how about in the pool. nice way to scare the nosey neighbors off as well. I would say do it on the beach but I am not bailing anyone out.

If none of those options are available to you then I guess the bed would do. Freeze a bottle of Gatorade and make sure you have had plenty of fluids. The frozen Gatorade will serve for 2 things. Hydration and pleasure. Try rolling the frozen bottle of Gatorade down your partners back. lol use it to cool your head when it gets too hot. I would say ice cubes but those will melt too fast. I'm sure you can think of other uses for the frozen bottle but I will let your imaginations take over.

Just make sure if you are pleasuring a random Suzy or a random harry that you use protection. There is  nothing worse than finding out your partners last name is rotten crotch. That would make for a true beating in the heat but i don't promote domestic violence.

Until next time.... stay cool and stay SEXy. Time for me to go find BOB