Back on the Market. Do's and dont's

From time to time I ask my blog readers for blog ideas. Today was one of those days. I realized that I hadn't blogged for some time and I thought it was time. I received a message today from a very old friend of mine. The contents of the message were rather surprising to me. It was for a blog idea and it was really personal. I know that the only reason why this was sent to me was because my opinion as a friend is valued and more than likely the person wanted to see my spin on things.

The message read that my friend would soon be divorced to their high school sweet heart. This was the only lover that my friend has known. 17 years, 3 kids, a house, cars and many responsibilities later my friend will be on the dating scene again soon. I am pretty sure that my friend has a valid reason for the divorce and I didn't want to pry too much. I know that if it were me and I was in a 17 year relationship that fell apart for whatever reason the last thing I would want would be a pity party filled with questions that would open the wounds of what I was going through.

So now that we have the background, I want to talk to you about dating after a long term relationship. What are some of the Do's and Don'ts to getting back on the dating scene. I am not an expert at this and anything that I blog at this point is based solely on opinion.

DO: find yourself. After a long term relationship that went sour you may not know who you are anymore. Maybe you decide that the things you liked during your relationship were only because your spouse or significant other liked them. Sample life and give new things a try.

DON'T: Sample life by sampling every single person of the opposite sex. That may find you in the free clinic trying to find a cure.

DO: Learn to love yourself. Maybe the relationship left you broken. Maybe it left you doubtful about your looks or your personality. As people, especially if we are hurt, there are times that we tend to blame ourselves. Learn to love you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

DON'T: Become a pompous selfish jerk who is obnoxious and only thinks about themselves. Just because you love yourself it doesn't mean that the world doesn't exist.

DO: Learn to let go and forgive. I was told once that the best way to heal is forgiveness. You have to forgive the other person for all the hurt and pain that they caused you. This may take a little time. It doesn't happen over night. When you decide to forgive the person you have to speak the words to them. "I wanted to let you know that I forgive you for all of the pain that you may have caused me and I want to apologize for anything wrong I may have done on my part to hurt you as well." Once this is done it will feel like an 1200 lb gorilla has been lifted from off your shoulders.

DON'T: Tell the person you forgive them and then curse them out and cause other dramas. This is uber counter productive. And it means that you really don't forgive that person.

DO: Something nice for yourself for once. I know that when you have been a relationship for some time you tend to forget about a very important person. YOURSELF. Book a spa day, buy yourself something nice, take a get away trip. Make it some thing special.

DON'T: Max out all of your credit cards and bury yourself in debt because the popcorn popper said to do something nice for yourself. I will not pay your bills and I will not let anyone move into my house cause you lost it all being irresponsible.

DO: Learn to trust again. If you don't trust anyone going out into the dating world will be useless. Because at every date you would wonder how many husbands, wives, baby mothers or fathers the person really has regardless of what they tell you.

DON'T: Blindly believe everything you are told. If the person says something that seems extremely far fetched, hell it probably is. For example: Your date says "I am a millionaire, I have money in off shore accounts." But you had to pick them up cause they have no car and you had to pay for half the meal because they "forgot their card". IF IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT guess what? IT'S SHIT.

DO: Allow yourself to be set up on a blind date. Just for the fun of it. Take a chance. Maybe the person is a good match. If it turns out that they are not, you can at least try to have fun.

DON'T: Start off with heavy conversations on the first date by talking about your failed past and all 18 of your kids. Keep the conversation light and friendly. Try to allow them to get to know you without giving out all of the details all at once. You need to try to keep their interest.

Ok, at this point I have given out a lot of information. I want some of my readers to comment and give some additional DO's and DONT's. Seeing the perspective of my readers is always great. and GO

Navy seal or Navy squeal?

Yesterday someone informed me that the Nay Seal that killed Osama Bin Laden reported that he left the military and lost his health insurance the night of, lost his pension, and was dead broke. Now I do not in any shape form or fashion want to discredit the fact that he is a war hero. But... What I want to say will offend some if not most. Here goes. *pulls out soap box*

That Arrogant cocky bastard needs to quit his belly aching and blame no one but himself. There are programs that exist prior to exiting the military. For the Marine Corps it is called TAPS class. This class gives you important information about readjustment once you leave the military. During this class they provide you with websites and information regarding Tricare benefits and how to convert it to Civilian coverage. The key is you have to apply prior to leaving the service.

Anyone who has served in the Armed forces knows at least 6 months in advance whether they want to re-enlist or they are ready to get out. The military like any other Government agency sets a set time for retirement. 20 years. IF you join the military for 4 years there is no pension. But if you get a Government job they do apply that 4 years to your time. If you know you are going 8 years and dont want to continue you start looking for a job.

Any smart military member knows that there are certain jobs that do not transfer over to the civilian world to CEO. Just know if you are a grunt (rifleman, 0311, basic soldier etc) you are not getting out to be an astronaut. Unless you have a degree in rocket science, physics, etc. The military does tuition assistance, people need to take advantage of that. IS it the GOVERNMENTS fault if you dont? No.

While in the military there are certain things that are encouraged. Thrift savings plans, IRA's etc.A way to plan for your future. This guy wants to blame someone for being broke? Dude, blame yourself. Instead of splurging all your money on cars and other nonsense that military members do you should have set a nest egg aside. Didn't this dude get paid for doing an interview with like inside edition or something? Didn't they make a movie?

The streets are not going to be covered in gold when you leave the military and your bank account isn't going to magically have money. You have to work for a future. Imagine that? Work? For a war hero? What an idea? Who would have thought? I am so done with this guy. IF you want to focus on something focus on the veterans who get out that are not deemed as war heroes that struggle everyday because they are not service connected due to the decisions of the VA. That's something to focus on.



*jumps off soapbox*

Leave your comments

Boy Scouts debate

I have been known from time to time to take a stance on certain public issues or even give my commentary on things happening in the News. Today I have something to say regarding the Boy Scout debate. For those of you do not know, the current stance is that the Boy Scouts of America does not allow openly gay members or Troop leaders. For some this can be seen as discriminatory and for others it is seen as "just".

I am not here to put anyone down or to ridicule their values. I am simply stating my opinion. The Boy Scouts of America needs to stop being discriminatory and they need to get with the times. We are in a time where people are more open to express their sexual preferences and they are proud about who they are. Who are they to say, "you are not Boy Scout material because you are gay?"

I always thought that Boy Scouts stood for honor, courage, and a moral code of integrity. So does this mean that a guy person cannot be honorable? Can they not be courageous? Can they not exhibit integrity? The answer to these questions is not left for me to answer. This is something that the administration of the Boy Scouts of America has to ask themselves as they attempt to come to a decision regarding this topic.

It is to my understanding that a lot of the troops are sponsored by churches. I know that in the beliefs of religion being openly gay is wrong. Can someone please tell all the priests that molest the alter boys that touching little children is far worse than openly admitting to being gay? It is not like Gay is a disease. *achoo* I just sneezed on you and I am gay. That means that you will be Gay too. No.. It does not work that way. People who choose to live an alternative lifestyle deserve to have rights just as anyone else.

My poppee's... What are your opinions on this? Are you for allowing Gays in the Scouts? or are you against it?

Fashion Forward

Last night I had the opportunity to attend a fashion show for an up and coming designer by the name of Jason Christopher Peters. The night was full of Fun, Fashion, and Friends. The event was coordinated and promoted by Urban Gypsy and it was held at the Empire Hotel at the rooftop lounge, located on 63rd and Broadway. 

My invite came by way of Murdakkh, the up and coming Hip hop artist from Bergen county, New Jersey. You may remember him from the review that I did on his album "The Warm Up." Murdakkh has been doing big things since I last blogged. He will be opening for Ice T's Birthday on February 15th in New York. Kudos to him for his future and success.  Also in attendance was Luey P Newton. Another up and coming rapper from the TriState Area and J Smilez, the owner of a music management and production company named "Tru Soul".

This show was an opportunity for me to watch the skinny fierce bitches in action working the runway. I love fashion. I love watching runway and I love anything new. I caught myself walking with a little extra sway in my hips last night in my Vince Camuto spiked studded heels. The show was dedicated to the styling of Rihanna. I was really excited to see Jason Christopher Peters' line. Unfortunately, I did not see anything that would look sexy in a size 12. But no worries, it was still uber fab

The house was packed during the show. I heard there were models, directors, and video vixens in the crowd amongst the regular folks. Everyone seemed pretty cool or maybe it was the two drinks that I had that made me think so. Either way, I had a good time. I took some photos of the show with my phone. So to my photographer friends, please don't judge me. These bitches were moving fast. Like they had a match in their ass and they had to fart. So some of my pictures are a tad bit blurry. There was one Model in particular who worked the shit out of the runway. I do not know her name. I will call her Emeraldina. She wore the emerald green visor and bustier. I am not saying the other models didn't work it. Cause they did. But she rocked the runway as if she knew her pussy smelled of roses and her shit was made of Gold. I loved every minute of it.

The designer seemed really nonchalant. He rocked a woody wood pecker hoody and  bandana on his head. I glanced at him from time to time during the show. He stood at the base of the runway biting his knuckle from time to time. The rest of the time he stood with his hands in his pocket as if hoping for the approval from the audience. I could see the butterflies build but once Emeraldina hit that runway his demeanor changed from nervous little boy to confident designer. At the end of the show the applause was real and he was all smiles.

Below are some of the photos that were taken. There were more models, unfortunately I wasn't to catch all of them. I hope you enjoy. I did.  

What the CUCK?

Recently a god friend of mine started seeing this new guy. She was super excited about him in her description. She told me they are on the phone all hours of the night and he seems like a great guy. A few weeks later she calls me and says "GIRL, this guy is a freak. Have you ever heard of a Cuck? well that's what he is into. " I'm sitting on my car thinking "What the Cuck?" I had no idea what a Cuck was. So I did what anyone would do. I hit up Google.

I wasn't able to find anything called a Cuck but I did find a definition for the term cuckold. A Cuckold is a derogatory term for a man whose wife is or has been unfaithful. So I called her asking are you sure? He wants you to cheat and that's being a freak how? The whole thing made no sense as she was saying she would be wearing a key. and he would wear a chastity belt. In my mind I thought SnM but she told me no. That is not the same. My next question was how does he use the bathroom? She said that he is able to use the facilities with it on. At this point i was like HUH?

So I had to do what any red blooded curious person would. I went to a porn site and typed in the word Cuck. This was the best way for me to figure out What the Cuck a cuck was. Basically it is a man who likes to watch his woman have sex with another man, while treating him like total trash. Lets take things up a notch. The Cuck also wears sort of a male Chasity belt. I wasn't able to find a good picture for the blog. this is something you have to see for yourself anyway.

I look at her differently now. She said she doesnt think this is something she would be down for. In my mind im thinking let that dude have a little peter and I bet you by golly she would b riding some other dude while her man watches intentively. Lmao!!

So my readers, Would you be down for something like this? What are your thoughts?

Not Bieber fever... Cabin fever just a rant

So since Hurricane Sandy has pounded on the Eastern Sea board things have been really crazy. People are without lights. It got cold thanks to a cold front from Canada. Any place possible that could flood did flood and then some. We are in a gas shortage because the barges couldn't come into port. And! Schools have been closed as a result of it all.

I have to really count my blessings. We were really fortunate that we did not have damage to our home nor did we lose power. Since I live on the only block in my town that had power I started the adopt a child program. Not really but I did offer my home to those with no power who might have been in need of warming up and charging their electronics. Whether or not people took me up on the offer is on them.

Before anyone begins to think about criticizing just know that from my home I have done my part to assist in the efforts. I have donated money and even written to the news and local government of NYC for my family members who are without power, heat and running water. Maybe next time when they say to evacuate they might just listen. who knows. People are afraid to leave their property behind. They just need to realize that material things can be replaced and that's what renters insurance is for. I pay 20 dollars a month. If my house were to collapse I know I can get more things. I can not replace the lives of my children.
 
Either way with the Gas and power shortage we were forced to stay in doors. We took a walk one day but walking down the street with 3 insubordinate children was very frustrating to me. My kids aren't really but after you see one house without power you have seen them all. We have been in the house bored. I am ready to go back to work because these kids are killing me. I thought about trying to hide from them but they would only find me and harass me. 

I truly truly love my kids. But after being stuck in the house with them for a week straight I am tired of them. These kids have bikes, roller blades, skateboards, you name it. You think they would go outside? No. They are in the house. No one even asked to go out and play. I would have gladly said yes. Hell I might have even joined them.

Someone I know had the same exact complaint. Parents need school for kids because we need a break. Even if we have to go to work and deal with possible adult children. I am going stir crazy. Earlier I told them to just sit there and not say anything. The little one just talks and talks and talks. Remember those little aliens on sesame street? The ones that was walk around saying "yip yip yip yip yip yip" That's what he reminds me of sometimes. 

There's only so much cooking and cleaning one can do you know. I feel like for a week straight all i have done was cooked and cleaned and cooked and cleaned and cooked and cleaned.

I know there are many people out there that feel my pain.I love my kids once again and I am really thankful to be blessed with them but holy moly donut shop... I want to run away screaming :)

Did his titties just jiggle? Moobs not a good look.

Well ladies and Gentlemen, I am back at it by popular demand. Today I am going to talk to you about moobs and the reason why fat dudes need to keep their shirts on during sex. For those of you that don't know what a Moob is, a moob is a man boob. Yes, men can have boobs. If you look down and your "chest" hangs, jiggles or wiggles then you have a moob. Moobs are in no way sexy. Nicely shaped pec muscles are sexy. Not hangy, wiggly, floppy tits. I just want men to understand it is not cute.

So once upon a time I dated a Fat guy. I have nothing against bigger guys or overweight people. Shit happens in life and I understand that some people are big boned and like to eat food. Anyway.. He was really cool and his smile was everything. We kicked it a few times and he told me how he was much bigger and he was losing weight to get healthier. I saw pictures of when he was bigger. He wasn't bad looking as a bigger guy so I knew once he lost the weight he would be arrogant city.

So the first few times we had sex it was cool. No details because a girl never fucks and tells. But there was this one time that the sex was instantly over for the both of us. He took his shirt off and I got on top and out titties rubbed. He looked down, I looked down, we looked at each other and BAM session was over. There is nothing SEXY about a mans flappy titties rubbing up against your titties. Later that night when we spoke he said something about our titties rubbing and how naty he felt. I felt bad for him. That's when I realized he had low self esteem. I still liked him and we still had fun times. When he lost all the weight he became an asshole so I had to walk.

Moral of the story is.... Women don't like moobs. Just like men don't like cankles.

Shit do some push ups or something. I guarantee if you take your shirt off around me with moobs flopping around you are guaranteed to get this look O_o. So wear a T-shirt, wife beater, or sports bra. You are guaranteed to get more pussy with you floppy titties tucked away.

Anyone have any funny moob stories?