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My pop-pees today I want to speak about the worst condom ever invented. I know some of you are thinking I am going to talk about the tiny Lifestyle condoms... but I am not because for little penis men those are the best things since sliced bread. The condoms that are on the top of my worst condom of all time list is..... Trojan Fire and Ice condoms.
I always promote safe sex because for some of you lord help you if you reproduce and for others well GYN's and MD's are tired of looking at blistering groins. I don't promote things I do not believe in. Safe sex is important. With the right condom everything is great. Unfortunately Trojan fire and Ice is not one of them.
I thought the concept was cool. It warms and cools. This was not well thought out!! Holy hell I thought someone put icy hot on my vagina. It was not a good look! Now I know what gonorrhea victims experience (without the smell and oozing). I feel bad for them. I promise I wont clap my hands every time I see you anymore.. (you know cause they got the clap) Nah I am lying. Some of you guys need a standing ovation.
Anyway back to my poor vagina. The other day we joked on facebook about Jalapeno pussy. Having something hot yet cold in your vag is not fun. I now know that thanks to these stupid ass condoms. I thought about having my vagina write them a strongly worded letter.
Dear Trojan brand condoms,
I hope the creator of Fire and Ice condoms gets herpes and not the kind that can be healed with Valtrex. These are the absolute worst condoms ever invented. May your genitals burn, disintegrate and fall off.
Signed,
Disgruntled Pussy
P.S Bareskin condoms are the best thing ever!! That person can get a promotion unless its the one who made the fire and ice.
Any way readers what are some of the worst condoms you have ever used and why?
Worst condom ever goes to Trojan, Extended Pleasure. It comes with a “climax control lubricant”, but acted more like a pleasure prevention lube. As far as extending pleasure, yes, it did prevent my partner from cumming at all! It is smelly, sticky and wet. So wet, that when you peel it out of its wrapping, the lubricant drips everywhere. There should be a warning on the package about washing hands after handling. Its overpowering sour smell tends to linger. And to top it off, 3 out of the 7 times I’ve used it this condom failed. Once it numbed my partner so much that he lost all spunk. Second time it leaked. Then another, it broke! If the appeal is to postpone male orgasm the thing better be able to withstand long durations.
ReplyDeleteHaven’t tried Trojan fire yet, but for some reason, I guess Ice condoms are worse.
ReplyDelete--Ryan| sex toys Philippines