Saturday, December 31, 2011

Thank you...

I want to take this time out to thank my readers. It has only been a few months since I started blogging and it seems there are a few of you that look forward to my fuckery. I know that I have not been writing as often as I should but I am trying to do better. Without you guys Popcorn and Pillows would be nothing. Next year look forward to new topics and even more of my bullshit rants.
See you guys on the other side.

I love you Guys <3

Really dough? It's New Year's Eve

So today is New Year’s Eve. The last day of the year and you know people are making all kinds of ass backwards resolutions. I learned a long time ago that the only people who make resolutions are weak individuals who really don't plan on doing anything but breaking them as soon as 12:01 hits. You got to love the creativity though. I think as time goes by they get even more amusing.

Some of the things people vow to give up are funny. Especially when they are known for the things that they are claiming to reject in the New Year. This made me think.. What are some of the fat fetched things that people claim to give up knowing damned well they can’t and won’t. Here are some:

Hoes vowing to give up fucking random dudes, at 12:01 while the heaux are taking shots they are already being scouted out for the one night stand. By 8 am on New Year’s Day they are doing the walk of shame looking like they got hit with the WTF stick because they were fucking and drinking all night. Bitch please. Do us all a favor and give in to your hoedomness. Accept being who you are because it will not change once the clock strikes midnight.

Another funny group of people are the drug users. People who smoke weed, crack etc etc. No matter how light or rough the drug. 11:59 weed smokers are lighting their last blunt of their lives... At 12:01 they are lighting another one because they couldn’t remember what they said at 11:59. Just give it up already.

The best group of liars are the ones who vow to lose weight for the new year. This has made me want to invest in a fly by night gym. These people sign up for gyms. Go for the first 2 weeks then never go again, while they are still bound by contract to the gyms and still paying their good money. Shit... If I get 100 people to pay 10's a month for a membership that's an easy 1000 a month... I could open a place and two weeks later shut it down and take their money. Good thing I am a good person and I wouldn’t take advantage of folks. But I know there are probably people out there who do it.

Any way Please stop thinking you will change overnight because you lied to yourself one night while drinking and self-reflecting on your life. Change takes time, effort and energy. If you didn’t change the 364 days before New Year’s what makes you think you will do it on NYE? I'm just saying. I know there are some people who agree and some who disagree. Either way, have fun and be safe... <3

Friday, December 30, 2011

its a Ho-tastraphe

This post is dedicated to the heaux of the world who are in total denial of their heuax status. I feel like if you are loose then you should embrace who you are. Be honest with yourself and those around you.

There is nothing more tragic than a hoe in denial. If you cannot remember 90 percent of your partners than you are a heaux! If you had more dick and pussy in your mouth than Trojan condoms then you are a heaux. If you have your own personal porn collection staring you with a different co-star every time then you are a heaux.

 Don't fret my friends. Being a heaux can't be all that bad. Let’s examine this. With being a heaux comes experience. One would hope so anyway. There is nothing worse than being a heaux who can't fuck, suck or lick. Shout out to Kim k. An experienced heaux makes people happy sexually. That's if their genitalia haven’t rotted off yet.
 

Smart hoes always carry their own protection. For those cheap bastards who want sex but don't want to spend the cash on the rubbers maybe a heaux is what you need. Hopefully a heaux gets coupons on prophylactics, kind of like a frequent fucker program. Can you imagine walking into CVS and the cashier saying hello Mr/Ms. (insert name here).. I have that new brand of condoms I was telling you about. These are on the house. I mean you don't have to be a heaux to appreciate free protection.

So in conclusion my message to the Heaux of the world is "embrace who you are." I mean without Heaux we wouldn’t have great porn. Just stop being in denial. Just some food for thought....

Surprise..... I Blank

So there are many things in life that make a wonderful surprise and there are things that are not so much of one. After a recent conversation with an old friend of mine I found out that he had a recent surprise that was a bit bitter sweet. This made me think. What are some things that wouldn't make a good surprise?

So here is what I have came up with. Picture it you open the door and you find the person you are recently dating standing there with all their stuff and they say "Surprise, I'm moving in." That would be terrible. Unless you like clingy people who you rarely know moving in your house.

Another surprise that would not be the best in the world would be a wife telling her husband "Surprise, I am pregnant by the mailman." Now it would be good if the husband hates his wife and was looking for an out in their marriage.

The last surprise I will talk about today is the surprise offspring. there's a knock on the door and its your ex with a grown ass kid. "Surprise, you have a 10 year old kid" for some people this surprise would be great. but for many men I know their hearts would probably stop on the spot. shit they should make a reality show about it. there are reality shows about everything else under the sun why not this.

What are some other unpleasant surprises you can think of?

Monday, December 26, 2011

Time to give.

All year long I talk a lot of smack about things and people but in all honesty I am a really loving and giving person. For as long as I can remember in my adult life I have given to charity and people in need. There was once a time in my life when I was the person receiving charity. I will never forget those who were there to help. It instilled a great value in my heart. The value of giving and charity.

I don't want anyone to think its only a holidays thing. We give to charity year round when we can. I just want to encourage my readers to remember those who are less fortunate and give when you have in excess. I am not trying to preach, nor gloat or tell anyone what they should do. I just think it is good to assist those who are unable to do so.                

There are a lot of places that do picks ups which is really cool.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Envios to Honduras

The Popcorn Popper is at it again. As you all already may know I promote my friends that are trying to do positive things in their lives. A very good friend of mine owns a shipping company. As of right now her company, only makes shipments from Ny/NJ to Honduras. I am attempting to help promote her company because she is and has always been extrememly awesome. To see her business prosper would make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

The name of her company is Cinco Estrellas Cargo LLC. For pick ups she can be reached at (201) 696-1775. www.Cincoestrellascargo.com.  Only serious inquiries please.

She will not ship anything illegal so please do not waste your time or hers!!!

Como todos ustedes ya saben yo promuevo mis amigos que están tratando de hacer cosas positivas en sus vidas. Una muy buena amiga mío es dueña de una empresa de transporte. A partir de ahora su compañía, sólo hace envíos de NY / NJ a Honduras. Estoy tratando de ayudar a promover su compañía porque ella es y siempre ha sido Extremadamente impresionante.

El nombre de su empresa es Cinco Estrellas Cargo LLC. Para que le recojan su carga se puede llamar al (201) 696-1775. www.Cincoestrellascargo.com. Sólo llamadas serias por favor.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

when your ___ does ____ it means ____

So for the past three weeks my left eye has been twitching. I am convinced that my kids have made me go crazy to the point that my eye twitches. Now I visited web MD and it said that a twitching eye can come from stress, lack of sleep and something else that was just stupid. Every time I tell someone else my eye is twitching I get a new concept as to why. People call these Old wives tales, today I want to discuss some of these old wives tales. I'm only going to hit on a few.

So upon telling someone my eye has been jumping/twitching I was asked is it the left or the right. I said the left and they said "oh that means something good is going to happen. If it’s the right eye that means it’s something bad." Now it sounded good so I smiled and said "Yay" Here I am Three weeks later and aint shit happen but a damn eye twitch. Don't get me wrong. I love blessings big and small but the way my eye was twitching you would think I have turrets.

So yesterday I was at a Jewelry party that my friend was hosting and my damn eye started twitching again. It gets pretty annoying. So i said something about my eye and pointed it out. My friend who is African, don’t ask me what country I forgot, she says "oh that means you are going to get money." I told her I might be about to strike it rich because my eye has been jumping for Three weeks.

Thus far I haven’t seen any of these things come to pass but I guess only time would tell... What are some other old wives tales that you have heard or believe in?

And please don’t say stepping in shit means you are going to get money. All you get is a shitty shoe and treated like a redheaded step child because you smell like shit. :)

Almost done with my semester

This is just a quickie... I'm coming in, getting off and rolling out. I just want to let you guys know that I am almost done with my semester andI will be back to my debauchery in full effect soon. Hope I havent lost too many fans. :) xoxoxoxo

P. Popper

Monday, December 5, 2011

Stinking in the club

This past weekend I decided to journey down to venture down to Washington DC to party for my 30th birthday. I didn’t want to party in the local tri-state area because I hadn’t been down to the DC area in a while. I met up with two of my old friends and began partying in the club. It was an epic experience as always.... UNTIL..

The fat girl in the sparkly dress appeared. Not only did she appear but she made a presence. Her odor hit me first and I thought to myself. Lawd it’s too early for me to be funky. So I did the smell check under my arms. I even asked my friend if I smelled bad. He laughed and said no. He had no idea what was coming for him UNTIL.....

She recognized him. She went next to him and began talking. I kindly danced in another direction not trying to make it obvious that she smelled like she had 8 gypsy cab drivers smuggled under her dress. When she walked away I laughed at my friend who now knew why i asked if I smelled bad. He made a joke about having to wash his hands because he touched her.

As the evening progressed her smell got worst and she cleared out the VIP stage area. I had found my way down to the regular dance floor until I saw she had left. I told my other friend I had to go dance with the masses with sparkly dress chick. He said man she was FUNKY. It was so bad he had to comment to me about it again later in the evening.

My question to my readers is why would you go to the club without smell checking yourself? And it’s not like this bitch didn’t have people with her. This is how you know you DONT have real friends. Those trifling bitches let her run around smelling like fromunda funk. (fromunda that rank smell from under). The bad thing is that 7-eleven was right down the street. They could have bought her some deodorant. I guess it’s safe to safe no matter where you go, no matter what city or state there will always be that stink ass person in the club.

You got any stinky people in the club stories?