The not so sex drive....

In my previous entry I spoke about masturbation and people claiming not to do it. Well one of my reader’s made a comment and it made me think about sex drive. So I began to wonder, what can kill a person’s sex drive? So I ventured off to Web MD to find some reasons a person can have a low sex drive. I am fortunate not to have issues with my sex drive being too low. We can talk about MY sex drive another day.

Here is the list of things I found on web MD: Stress, unresolved relationship issues, alcohol, not enough sleep, parenting, medication, poor body image, obesity, erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, depression, menopause, and not enough intimacy. These are all factors they listed in a slide show. Like I said I don’t have this problem but I figured I could make my own list of why people have a low sex drive.

My list and explanations:

1.       Your partner who claims to be straight is really in the closet. I mean how often would your husband or wife really want to touch you if they don’t crave your parts? While some DL people do come out, others are afraid of their own shadow because of whatever personal reasons they have. So that closet person will never come out and tell their husband/wife “Honey, I know I have a penis but I want to get pounded in my anal canal.” Or “Honey, while you have a nice little pecker I’d rather emerge my face in vaginal fluids than to have to jerk your penis again. “

2.       Your partner has bad hygiene. This is self explanatory isn’t it? No one wants to have sex with someone who smells like the inside of a gypsy cab when the underwear comes off or even worse. I don’t know about you guys but if my partner has stink ass breath I will not be kissing them. So tell them rinse, gargle, floss and brush and take an enema while you’re at it. Your insides might be rotting from the inside out.

3.       Your partner is ugly. While people usually go for looks first. Some people go for personality which is always a good thing but what happens when your little soldier cannot rise because your girlfriend suffers from trolliosis? You know, when your partner looks like they are supposed to be collecting tolls at the footbridge in a children’s book.

4.       Another reason is genital size. Now before you go jumping to conclusions guys this is for both men and women. Men can either be too big or too small for a woman. Yes I said too big. Its possible women. Stop acting like you like 12 inch penis, your vagina is probably the size of the Grand Canyon due to those monster schlongs. Which leads me to women, a woman can be too big or too small as well. While men do claim to like tight spaces for a vagina there is such thing as too tight. That’s the point when a guy thinks he penis might snap off because it barely went in and it got even tighter. Also we all know about the endless vagina. The one that the guys who are large can slide in without a problem, well think about the average guy trying to go in there. His penis would be in there echoing. “Hellooo, Hellooo.”

Well I said I was only giving a few examples. So what are some of your thoughts on lack of sex drive? Did I hit the nail on the head? What did I miss? What are your personal reasons for being turned off and not wanting to have sex? We all want to know…

touch it or torment it

Masturbation is something that is considered a normal part of life. Well to me  it is anyway. I have met some people who claim to have never fiddled the kitty or stroked the pole. It just makes me wonder, can people  get by without doing it?

A few years back I decided to take a sabbatical from sex. I became celibate. I went for about 2 weeks without masturbating before I realized that if I didn't have an orgasm stat I was more than likely going to hurt someone.

So remained celibate but continued to get my rocks off myself. In a lot of religions this is definitely a faux pas but I figured if Jesus forgave Judas and his persecutors for crucifying him I might be forgiven for kneading my dough. Anyway I broke my celibacy after a few months and got knocked up. Go team condoms! They only work if you use them all the time.

I don't know how people can go around not doing it. In my eyes masturbation is right up there with peanut butter and jelly on wheat bread; Simple but  amazing! Maybe those folks don't know what its like to truly climax don't know. Or maybe just maybe I'm an addict. It can go either way but I will plead the fifth if ever asked about it.


Are you a person who masturbates or are you grossed about by the very thought?

the not so sexy panties

Every woman I know owns a few pairs of not so sexy panties. The longer a woman is single and not trying to score some ass the less and less sexy her panty collection becomes. Can you imagine what my panty draw looks like?

For those people who imagine my panty draw full of sexy erotic thongs, think again. As I got older I said forget having a piece of floss stuck up my ass for hours. Those things can hurt your ass. Like if you sit the wrong way and the thong pulls tight. It can literally scratch your anal area. Not a good look.

Ever wonder why girls in the clubs act so stank? It's because they have thong cuts on their assholes. They can't help but to be bitchy. They have diaper rash.

I digress. The other day I was getting dress and I put on a pair of nude color seamless bikini panties. Nice ad comfortable might I add. Well I had forgotten I had company and I was supposed to pretend to b sexy. As I was getting dressed he sarcastically said "Sexy." While I was a little embarrassed I kindly pointed out to him that I've known him for too long to be uncomfortable.

I mean are women supposed to pretend to love the sexy panty their whole life? When is it OK to pull out the not so sexy panties?

I guest you doo

I always seem to find myself in the most peculiar of situations. I don't think there is ever a right time to excuse yourself when you have company to go do the doo. What is the doo you ask? You know take a shit, make a poop, drop the kids off at the pool. Some men feel that women shouldn't speak about bowel movements or that women in general shouldn't do them when they are around.

While on the first date with my ex-husband we went to Chili's. Well that was a really wild weekend as my girls and I were in Vegas. I had been drinking all weekend and I guess my body was like oh hell no. So we eat dinner and after I'm like oh let's go back to my hotel so I can change. He came up to the room with me. I guess he was trying to be a gentleman. Needless to say not even 5 minutes later I asked him to go and wait in the hotel lobby because my stomach was speaking in tongues. Yes, I told him I had to poop and I needed privacy. I mean I didn’t think that I would ever see him again after we left Vegas so what did I care. Eventually we became a couple then married and divorced. So I guess me having to excuse myself was a problem to him.

I have company today and I had to poop. I just went as he went outside to smoke a cigarette. My stomach was hurting from holding it. Why does being a woman mean you have to keep the mystery about your excretory functions? I mean holding a fluff (fart) and cause permanent damage to your bowels. Imagine blowing a hole in your intestines just so you won’t fart in front of company. That would be the worst date EVER. Don’t you agree? Be wearing a colostomy bag for the rest of your life just because you didn't want to fart in front of your man.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? How did you handle it? Do you care who is around when you have to go?

Thoughts of getting pierced

Getting piercings’ can be so damn addictive. It’s right up there with getting tattoos. I know why people end up looking like the inside of a meat locker with metal hooks everywhere. Something about that initial pain makes it become so erotic. That Pinch right as you are slobbing all over the floor while your tongue is getting pierced. The flash of pain as your tongue swells in your mouth and it feels like it’s going to fall out. Aw the Romance of a piecing.

In my previous entry I talked about the nipple piercing. As I hit send I started to wonder. Am I took chicken shit to get it done? I mean I know I have other things to spend my money on but if the money magically showed up in my paypal account I just might have to consider getting it done. Just to prove to myself that I am no punk.

Who am I kidding I am the same person who says my breasts are not stress balls so don’t squeeze them. I think I might pass out if I tried to get a nipple pierced. What do you folks think? Do I have the balls to get a titty pierced? Or do you think I would ball up into a ball and cry after giving the piercing specialist a black eye?

How many of my readers have piercings? Where are they? Did it hurt?

The incredible nip slip

So if you forgot that I heart Boobies, let me remind you. I love Boobies. Remember when I said I like to imagine the nipples? Well, nothing says "Hello Lady" like a nip slip. Nicki Minaj had a nip slip while performing on stage the other day. While yes most of her is plastic, hence why i am guessing she calls herself a Barbie, it was still nice to see her chocolate chip nips.  Like I have said in the past you can gag her and send her my way.

While we are taking the time to talk about nip slips let’s talk about the great sets we have seen in the past. Rosario Dawson, while it wasn’t a nip slip, her pretty bitties did grace us on the silver screens. I forget what movie it was but trust me it was nice. I honestly don’t think the movie was even all that good other than her titties. I'm just being honest.

I mean we can't talk nip slip without talking about Janet's wardrobe malfunction during that one Super Bowl. She really makes me want to get my nipples pierced. Good thing I know how much that really hurts. For those reader’s wondering, it isn't going to happen. I'd be like that one stripper you see at every Strip club in America with the one nipple pierced. Everyone asks her the same dumb question too. "Flashy tittybox, why do you only have one nipple pierced?" but I digress.

If anyone ever wants to see Angelina Jolie naked and getting her lesbian on you have to watch Gia. Her breasts are perky and pleasant in this movie. This was before she had 80 kids of course. The only thing I have to warn about this movie is that she plays a heroin addict. I couldn’t watch the drug scenes. They made me cringe.

Even though I cheated and used examples from movies I know that you guys know of plenty of nip slips out there.


What are some of your Favorite Nip slips of all time?

ANo or AnYes

It’s time to talk about taking a ride down the Hershey highway. For some this is a journey into forbidden land. For other's it is a journey to a great time. For those slow people who take a minute to catch on, I am talking about anal also known as anal sex. Did I spell it out enough?

I know people all over the United States and have had conversations about different things. Anal is a conversation that always comes up in sex. Either people are all for it or all against it. It always makes for a good conversation piece. Well for the perverts like me it does anyway.

Now let's not be discriminatory. I know many gay men who are AnYes, but there are some out there who are ANO. This piece is about both men and women who equally enjoy or are repulsed in the giving or receiving of anal sex. There are some men who think having anal sex with their women makes them feel like less of a man but being afraid of your own sexuality is another story.

The people who are AnYes (for anal sex) well these folks can tell you what lube is the best. How it should be put in. Even about how the anal sex has made them achieve multiple orgasms. Anal sex is about being perceptive of your partner. I mean if you are a guy and want your woman to continue giving up the brown eye. Then please be perceptive. Yes, I said perceptive. Now I know that when your little penises are hard it is hard to think about anything else but listen. If your woman says ow and you’re in that hole. It’s not a pleasure ow. It means Muthafu@@a if you don’t get that thing out of there I may have to hurt you.  Also women if you like anal or decide to try it, make sure your bum is fresh from the inside out. I don’t think your man wants his penis to smell of rotting garbage and yesterday’s lasagna. I'm just saying, while you broads think your poop smells like flowers it really smells like rotting carcasses.

For my ANo's I can truly understand why you don't want to do it. Some of the things I have heard were: But that's nasty. Well what if I shit on him? What if I have a gaping butt hole and when I laugh my poop just shoots out? Ok the last one was a stretch but even I laughed as I typed that out. All the concerns are definitely valid none the less.


I can't confirm nor deny my status on whether I am ANo or AnYes due to privacy reasons. I was just wondering how many of you are ANo or AnYes are. Explain why.....


You don’t have to post using your real name or a name I might recognize but seeing how many are on each side would be interesting.