I guest you doo

I always seem to find myself in the most peculiar of situations. I don't think there is ever a right time to excuse yourself when you have company to go do the doo. What is the doo you ask? You know take a shit, make a poop, drop the kids off at the pool. Some men feel that women shouldn't speak about bowel movements or that women in general shouldn't do them when they are around.

While on the first date with my ex-husband we went to Chili's. Well that was a really wild weekend as my girls and I were in Vegas. I had been drinking all weekend and I guess my body was like oh hell no. So we eat dinner and after I'm like oh let's go back to my hotel so I can change. He came up to the room with me. I guess he was trying to be a gentleman. Needless to say not even 5 minutes later I asked him to go and wait in the hotel lobby because my stomach was speaking in tongues. Yes, I told him I had to poop and I needed privacy. I mean I didn’t think that I would ever see him again after we left Vegas so what did I care. Eventually we became a couple then married and divorced. So I guess me having to excuse myself was a problem to him.

I have company today and I had to poop. I just went as he went outside to smoke a cigarette. My stomach was hurting from holding it. Why does being a woman mean you have to keep the mystery about your excretory functions? I mean holding a fluff (fart) and cause permanent damage to your bowels. Imagine blowing a hole in your intestines just so you won’t fart in front of company. That would be the worst date EVER. Don’t you agree? Be wearing a colostomy bag for the rest of your life just because you didn't want to fart in front of your man.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? How did you handle it? Do you care who is around when you have to go?