Making love faces

Ok really quick... I just had a funny thought Trey Songz made a song about making love faces. He tried to make it sound so great but no matter how great it sounds. The funniest thing in the world is to look over at your partner during sex and they have the spazz face.

The spazz face is the face that you get when something feels so good that you can't control your movement. This usually occurs when your toes curl. The body begins to have involuntary movements. Legs begin twitching, lips quivering and the funny noises come out. I once knew this guy who sounded like an invalid during sex. True story. It was hilarious.

The funny thing about laughing at people during or after the sex is that they usually get mad and don't want to speak to you ever again. OOPS!! But that was FUNNY!!! Ohhodssdkl nskdjnfksnf fnsnfsknf were the words coming out of his mouth. Face went into convulsions. It took everything in me not to fall over laughing.

Lesson to be learned kids: have sex with the lights off. I know lights on is sexy and you can see the sexy body f your partner but you can also see the spazz face.

Et Tu Brute?

The title for my blog today comes from the play Julius Caesar. Just some background for those who didn't read the play, Brutus was supposed to be Julius Caesar's right hand man but in the end he was the one to stab him in the back. Et Tu Brute is French for “And you Brutus?” Today I want to talk about the difference between friends.

Lately a lot of people on FaceBook have been posting things about "Real" friends. It made me laugh because it was long ago that I too was betrayed by a few "Real" friends. I was taught by my mother that a friend is a dollar in your pocket if the pocket isn’t broken. Meaning, your real friends will show themselves in time.

Since my life's lesson in betrayal I have adapted a new attitude about my friends. First of all, my friends are broken up into 2 groups. Associates, people I know and sometimes call friends. I have a shit load of people I know and while my life is an open book for the most part. They feel they 100% know me but they really don't. I still hang out with them and party with them etc. I don't treat my associates badly.

 The other group I call them family or BESTIES. These are the people who I know can put up with my shit and vice versa. I am, contrary to popular belief, anti-social. My family “BESTIES” are the people who I trust. These are the people I know I can get shitty drunk around and they will get me home and hold my hair. These are the people I know that even if I haven't called them in 5 years when we talk it’s like time never passed. These are the people that I know won't steal my boyfriend.

Most importantly these are the people that will talk shit to my face not behind my back. Example: "Where the fuck do you think you are going with that on? You look like the muffin man's wife." Now if someone I didn't know said this to me I would flip out but if one of my Besties said this to me I would rethink my outfit and ask for advice. A lot of people in the world think they have friends but judging how they leave the house with their friends. I can tell you boo boo those are not your friends. Try again.

I appreciate all of my friends. Whether it's a friend I see once every 10 years or it's the person who I see every day. Not everyone can deal with my harsh personality. It takes a special person to be friends with the Popcorn Popper but once you are in, well we are friends for life.

*Ghetto voice* I want to give a shout out to all my BESTIES all over the world. Always remember. "Dudes come and go but your Bitches are FOREVER"

the Popper has been Pooped

now contrary to the title, this post is not about poop. I haven't been posting much lately because I have had a lot going on with work, school, the kids and my constant failed attempts at a personal life.

Let me fill you guys in on recent events. Mind you, I am not complaining. I am in the middle of job transitions. I am in the middle of a semester that is online and Saturdays. I got stood up the other day for brunch. Initially I was upset but then I said Fuck it. I'm a beautiful woman who deserves a quiet brunch at Ihop.

My brunch at Ihop was disturbed by unneccessary phone drama, which I hope I defused. I am getting too old for too much confusion. Especially confusion that has nothing to do with me. I digress. Every and anyone who knows me personally know me and Ihop do not agree very well. That came and passed.

Friday I went out to party with friends that I feel I neglect way too much. Honestly its because my schedule sucks being a single parent. I love the kids though  :) mine anyway. I went out to the city and had an awesome time. I got home @ 330 to be up for school @ 630.

That was the absolute longest English class EVER. I remember the days I could party all night and go to work like nothing. I must have gotten old. The rest of Saturday I hated life and everyone in it. I was the biggest bitch and it was not intentional. At one point I remember telling someone I couldn't wait for them to die so I can dance on their casket. Yes reader's that was UBER messed up. For those who don't know when I don't sleep or am hungry I turn into something terrible. I am going to get a handle on that.

Anyway the next day cause I slept all Saturday night. I did homework, and watched the Jets lose. Boo bitch Boo. We'll get them next time. Yesterday was stressful and it brings us to today. I am posting to tell my fans I love them and forgotten. Just been horrendously busy. Tonight I will post something awesome!!!! I PROMISE.

Have a good day Poppee's

Say what you mean and mean what you say

Today I'm venting because I’m tired of the dating scene and the games that people play. In this day and age dating is so damned hard. What makes it even harder is that people always have ulterior motives. Why can't we be up front with each other about what we want? Why does it have to be a dating game?

If you meet someone and think they are good looking and are only interested in getting their box or pole just say so. Why pretend to be interested in that person? Why waste your time and theirs? I mean if initially you are interested in getting to know who they are and then decide you don't like them then say so. It would hurt their feelings less if you are upfront. Don't wait for them to catch feelings 6 months down the line to say "So um, I don’t really like you"

I respect a man more when he says "I'm not interested in your job, personality or what you did yesterday. I am just interested in sex." Would he probably get smacked if he is rude about it? Maybe but he will get honesty points. Honesty is big in my book. If you are honest then there is no room for lies...

With that being said please do not tell people things that are not true. "I love you; you mean the world to me." "I want you to be my girl". Things like this only get people into situations they are not ready for. If you love the person then fine, say it. But don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Nothing is accomplished by doing this. Someone’s feelings end up getting hurt and someone else ends up looking like a big dirt bag.

And stop asking people out on dates or accepting dates you really don't want to go on. That way people won't be let down or stood up. This is getting ridiculous. I'm done ranting.

Have a good night... I’m upset right now... in the words of my cousin... FTP.. FUCK Them PUTOS... lol

This is why masturbating is good

The other day on the Radio I heard about some kid who died from masturbating 42 times. What I wanted to blog about yesterday was "Maybe mom was right, I can die from touching myself." Since I couldn't find a reliable source to back this information up I decided not to blog about it. With that being said I figured I would share the good in masturbation.

I ran a search online for reasons why masturbating is good. I got this link http://besthealthmag.ca/embrace-life/wellness/6-healthy-reasons-to-masturbate. All of these are really good reasons but I figured I could write some so that my readers could relate to them more.

So...

Reason number 1: It will prevent you from knocking out random strangers who perform daily acts of stupidity. Think about it people tend to get easily upset when they are backed up. If you masturbate often you have enough endorphins running through your body to make you feel happy more so than not.

Reason number 2(for men): If you get the pre nut out (pre nut: the first ejaculation after not having sex in a while. What usually catches you off guard making you look like a minute man when you are really a 3 minute man) then when it’s time for the vagina you will be ready to give it your all.

Reason number 3(ladies): He might know your vagina from your anus so why would you expect him to know how to get you off? Next time he gets off and goes to sleep, get to rubbing. No use in being frustrated because he is insufficient.

Reason number 4: If you know what you like you can show your partner. Guys ever have a girl rubbing on your penis like it’s a lamp and they are expecting a genie to pop out and you wonder: “What the heck is she doing?” Well if you don’t tell her how you like your snake pulled she won’t know. That goes for women too. Ever have a guy call himself touching you during foreplay and you are thinking what is that? He is looking at you like does that feel good and you reply "I don’t know I guess" Honey that is no help to him. Tell him. Rub it like this. But you will only know if you find out for yourself.

Reason number 5: Make sure your plumbing works. You don’t want to be cumming dust bunnies. Be all dried up like a raisin in the sun and don’t even know it. The article says use it or lose it. It’s in regards to sex drive but I’m talking in regards to your fluids. No one wants to be navigating through cob webs and the dry abyss. Keep it functional.

And finally (cause I’m not typing all night)

Reason number 6: It helps you get that GOOD sleep. Ladies ever look over after sex and your partner is snoring away? Well that’s because he ejaculated. If you achieve a good orgasm you might be able to sleep too. There are a lot of people I know who say they have trouble sleeping. I recommend masturbating to them. Some people act like they don’t do it but they are the ones that really need to.

OK ONE MORE.... I promise

Reason number 7: If you pleasure yourself you don’t run the risk of getting STD's from having sex with other people!!!! BOOM

So in conclusion..... Masturbating can be healthy for you sexually, physically and mentally so.....

Get to work!!!

Dum Dum Dum.... Captain save a hoe to the rescue!!!!

First of all I have been busy as heck with this school thing...*grumbles* my history book sucks but that is not what this blog is about today. Today, like right now!! I want to give a shout out to all the Captain save-a-hoe's in the world. Now don't think I am doing this out of sheer hatred. Nope. I can't. I too was a Captain save-a-hoe many of times. This is why I have to give props to all my fellow super heroes and tell them.... STOP THAT SHIT!!

Like I said, I too have fallen victim. I have been lured in by nice smiles and tragic life stories of being raised in a single parent home. I too have been bamboozled by the "I live at home with my mother but I am going to be moving out soon". Oh yea they move out all right, right into your SHIT. Eating up all your food and taking your kindness for weakness. Those days are done for me and this is why I am trying to help you.

You do not need to deal with that person’s drama. They were abused as a child? Damn that sucks. Go see a therapist. They get paid a lot of money to listen to people bitch and moan about their "terrible lives" and how uncle chuck who wasn’t really your uncle tried to look at them in the bath that one time. Don’t let these hoes fool you. Half of these stories probably aren't even true!!! It's all a game.

I am sorry if hoe's phones get cut off this month, if their rents don’t get paid. It’s not my fault. Male and female hoes alike need to run out and get a JOB! Pay your own bills. Go exploit your fellow hoes. Leave us captains be. Sometimes we need to be saved too from you no job having, every excuse in the world giving, big dick nice smile owning bastards.

So today mon amis of the Save-a-hoe world, stand with me in unison and say FUCK YOU PAY ME!!! This is our time to shine. Let them hoes perish in the fiery abyss.

Have you been a Captain? When and how did you realize that you were saving a hoe? Would you do it again or will you join me in my battle against the hoes?

The Medal of Honor

This morning I turned on the news and I was so proud to say that I was a Marine Sergeant. Although I am always proud of my accomplishments this morning was special. The Medal of Honor was awarded to a young Marine Corps Sergeant who is only 23 years old. He is the FIRST Marine to receive a Medal of Honor while still alive.

I type this with tears in my eyes. The heroism that this Marine portrayed is what it’s all about. As Marine's we are taught you never leave anyone behind and you take care of each other. This Marine risked his life for his fellow Marines. I know this act of valor is common amongst the Corps and many acts of heroism go unnoticed on a daily basis. This is just a really proud day for God, Country and Corps.

I remember sitting in Marine Corps history during boot camp learning about my fellow brothers who risked it all for their brothers. During the Crucible (the final test before you earned the honor of Marine) there were stations where we would stop at tired, worn out and practically starved, at these stations the Drill Instructors would tell us stories about Marine's who earned the Medal of Honor. No matter how exhausted I was, I felt a rush of pride run through my body. The same rush that I feel today.

I hope you guys to take the time out to read the article on this Marine.
Here is the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/16/us/dakota-meyer-marine-is-awarded-medal-of-honor.html?_r=1&ref=politics