Where are my shoes?

First reader's let me apologize for not providing you with my awesomeness yesterday. I had a really bad headache when I got home last night. Last night I got the privilege of participating in something called lelay night. A friend of mine is from Ghana and it is the night of food, family and friends before the wedding.

For some people this would be a cultural shock as things are not traditionally what we would see here in America. All of the women wore their cultural African dress. While they all spoke English they chose to engage in conversation in their dialect, which if you ask me does make for an uncomfortable setting for those who don't know the language. I know they were talking about us, but I digress.

The shoes I decided to wear were very hot but they hurt like hell. So about 20 minutes in them I decided to go fetch the ugly flip flops my son left in the care. Sometimes you need to be about comfort. When I got back with the flip-flops on I decided to take them off and leave them by the door. Not only was it because they didn’t match my outfit but for me it was a sign of respect as they are Muslim.

As it got later in the night I decided it was time to go home and get my son ready for bed. After I bid my goodbyes, I go to the door to get my flip flops but they are nowhere to be found. I asked some of the ladies that were sitting by the door if they had seen my shoes. Basically I was hoping that they would form a small search party but they said oh check there pointing to a pile of shoes. Of course they were not there because that was the first place I had looked.

One lady actually tried looking while the others just sat in the way and probably talked about me. She then said go around and check everyone’s feet maybe someone put them on. I was thinking to myself, why the hell would someone be wearing shoes that do not belong to them? I went over to my friend who is African (not the bride), she is a gem, I told her my shoes were missing and the first thing out of her mouth was "Were they nice?" I told her no they were ugly men’s flip-flops and she gave me the: you shouldn't have left anything lying around look.

I had entertained the idea of walking to my car barefooted but how country is that? I decided to walk around looking at everyone’s feet. At this point I was looking crazy as hell. So I know they were really talking about me. Finally I went back by the door and some lady walked in wearing my damned flip-flops. I was upset. First of all, I don't know her. Second of all, how do you just put on some random shoe that you know is not yours? Third, she was all nonchalant about it. Like *in African accent* "I am so sorry, my shoes were hurting. I didn't know these were yours." C'mon SON!!

The moral of the story kids, don’t leave your shit around people you don't know. Not even your flip flops are safe. I need to go soak my feet in bleach.