The endless ass wipe

So from time to time I shift away from sex talk to bring you life talk. Today I want to talk about the endless ass wipe. For those who don't know; the endless ass wipe is when you wipe your ass for 10 minutes and it seems like your ass is never going to get clean.

I know its gross but wiping your ass is a part of life. Who wants to walk around with skid marks and an itchy anus? Not I and that is for sure. The endless ass wipe is never fun and in some situations can get you into a bit of a predicament. Here are some situations where the endless ass wipe can really suck.

Ever finish your business and go to wipe and the tissue is low? When there is like 2 go rounds of the hand left on the roll. There is no other tissue around. Then you find out you are a victim of the endless ass wipe. This is where public restrooms suck. The gas station doesn't have a bidet. So therefore someone is in a shitty situation. So please always check the toilet paper levels before you do the dew.

Ever use half of the roll on an endless ass wipe? This is scary because depending on the persons or your commode, you may have clogged it. The worst situation is when you break the commode and then find no plunger. Having to leave the restroom to tell who ever owns the place can be quite embarrassing especially if it is someone you like.  How do you even start that conversation? "Hey Jenny, I know we've only dated for a week but I broke your facilities." Don't expect Jenny to call you after that unless she has previously broke your commode and blamed it on someone else.

I know a lot of people use baby wipes. To me baby wipes are good to wipe but then your ass stays wet. If you use tissue after the wipes then your get paper dingle berries in your ass. How cute it that? Anyway, where do these baby wipes go? Do you throw them in the trash? I know they clog the toilet so people can't be flushing them. Can you imagine a few days worth of shit filled wipes in the trash. That house must stink like crap. *yuck face*

In my opinion the best thing to do after an endless ass wipe is to take a good long shower. Please use a wash cloth and soap. Putting your hands in your bottom after an endless ass wipe is not a good idea. Not that I have experienced this first hand but it just doesn’t seem kosher.

Until next time folks keep your hands clean and your asses out of trouble.