Reinventing the Condom

Today on Face book someone I knew started a post about condoms. The original post was about the store running out of condoms but immediately it turned into an all out marketing idea. Now everyone who has read my previous blog entries knows that I’m not playing with a full deck. So you can only imagine some of our ideas.

At first we joked about things that could be used in lieu of condoms. Of course the first thing that was stated was saran wrap. My interjection was latex gloves and latex balloons. I mean most condoms are made of latex right? From there it went to garbage bags and ponchos. The idea of scotch tape was turned down. I guess taking it off might hurt a little.

This conversation then went into flavored condoms. We began talking about different hood flavors we could make. Among those flavors we got sex on the beach, Onion and Garlic, Funyons, Cinnamon toast crunch, and Henny black. There were more flavors that were mentioned. Then in my jaded head I came up with this: "Imagine seeing guys walking down the street chewing on Hennessey flavored condoms like they were gum". There would be a lot of pause no homo’s as they offered one to their friends.

After this the conversation took a turn for the worst when someone came up with an even better idea. Note pad condoms, a note written on the condom for the girl or guy to read as she performs oral sex or puts the condom on. I really don't want to give away all of our ideas but some of them include but are not limited to:

"If you are drunk you can’t see this message"
"I know I’m too small for this condom I was hoping you didn’t notice"
"My dick is not small your vagina is big.."
 ‎"Surprise, I’m not your man I’m his twin
‎"delivery in 30 minutes or less or you get your money back"
"Don’t think of it as 2 mins think of it as 200 really fast pumps.:-)"
"Glow in the dark version "If you looked better you would be able to read this condom with the lights on"

There were many more and the list is still growing. I mean with the weather being bad and all this is good "clean" fun. I can only imagine if someone actually wore one of these. Some of the insulting condoms would ruin relationships and marriages. Some people would think they were funny but those are the dimwits. You know the type they take 10 minutes to figure out they were the brunt of the joke. I mean by then the other person would be done. For the witty notes it may make for a good conversation over drinks with friends at a later date.

What are some flavors or ideas for note condoms can you think of?

*disclaimer* using anything other than a condom to engage in random sex will not protect you from pregnancy or STD's.